Silly Women
The blogger known as Neva Vegan has posted a remarkably honest and self-searching account of burnout, depression, and trauma in animal work. Unfortunately, her story is not uncommon.
Since the publication of Aftershock earlier this year, several people have written or come up to me to tell me about incidents in which they were denigrated, derided, or dismissed when they have tried to talk about trauma, or more broadly about feelings, within animal advocacy organizations. Most of these people have been survivors of sexual or domestic violence. All of them have been women.
That’s not to say that men have not expressed appreciation for the book or asked me for advise about making their organizations more sustaining and sustainable. Indeed, men have been among the strongest supporters of the book. One man (Martin Rowe) asked me to write it. Two men (Jeff Luers and Micky Z) wrote the cover blurbs. Another man (Adam Weissman) was a steadfast ally as I struggled with the personal trauma that the process of writing the book prompted me to confront. At readings, young men have come up to ask me how they can be better allies to the women in their organizations.
And, that’s not to say that men who do show their feelings are not also put down. I know of one incident in which a very well known male activist was treated very shabbily by a very well known organization when he started to break down under the accumulated stresses of his own high-risk activism.
But the fact remains that the suppression of feelings is a gendered process that is rooted in and helps to maintain the subordination of women. And animals.
Let me explain. Several ideas come together to make people think that suppressing, rather than expressing and working through, feelings is the right thing to do. These include the idea that rationality is superior to emotionality and the belief that we ought to be able to transcend our feelings through sheer force of will. Both of these erroneous ideas are deeply linked to binary hierarchies of oppression: male over female, human over animal, mind over matter.
Within the male-over-female system, all attributes are classed as either masculine or feminine, with the allegedly feminine attributes assumed to be inferior to the masculine attributes. Emotion, of course, is the allegedly feminine attribute juxtaposed to the allegedly better and more masculine attribute of rationality.
Of course, men aren’t really less emotional than women, although they may have been trained to hide, divert, or suppress their feelings more frequently and effectively. Men are people. People are animals. Animals have feelings.
Animals have feelings. Of course, every animal advocate know this, shouts this, touts this. But most don’t think about the implications of it for themselves. That’s why I devoted an entire chapter of my book to “our animal emotions,” showing that feelings are both physical and social processes that start in our bodies and are shaped by our relationships.
When we deny our feelings, we deny our animality. When we expect ourselves to have the willpower to transcend our animal emotions, we are treading dangerously close to the ideology that prizes human rationality above all other animal capabilities. When we try to make our bodies transcend their physical limitations by going without sleep or not discharging the energies associated with emotions, we are not so far from the biotechnologists who also believe that mind ought to be able to manipulate matter.
All of which is to say that men in positions of power, especially but not only in the animal advocacy movements, ought to think very carefully about the biases that might be at work when they suggest that women are being irrelevant or divisive by talking about feelings. This is doubly true for those who lead or work within organizations that use tactics that place activists at high risk for trauma. The experience of being hit or handcuffed will feel very different to the activist who has been hit by a partner or raped while restrained than it does to activists who have luckily not experienced such trauma in their personal lives. Since one in four women is sexually assaulted before the age of 18 and since one in three women is raped or beaten by a partner in her lifetime, the odds are high that many women in high-risk activist organizations regularly struggle with complicated reactions to trauma endured in the course of their activism. They ought to be commended for their courage rather than dismissed as silly women too much in the grip of emotion.
It may be that, strategically, we need to focus (as I did in the book) on the practical benefits of constructing organizations that nurture activists by taking their feelings into account. But we ought not lose sight of the fact that this tactical question is a political issue too. Animal liberation organizations, if they truly seek the liberation of all animals, also must be feminist organizations. Truly feminist organizations recognize the reality and impact of violence against women, expressing that recognition in their structures and practices.
June 6th, 2007 at 8:48 pm
Thank you so much for the shout out!
You’ve really hit so many of the issues right on the head. Of course men suffer PTSD as well, and many feel they must be in complete denial of any emotions, that are as you put it feminine or that they perceive as weak. But it is acceptable sometimes for men to express more “masculine” emotions, especially if they somehow deny ownership of the emotion, ie “You make me so angry” or “you make me crazy.”
Naturally many men are learning how to avoid these pitfalls. Some have excellent examples at home, fathers that were emotionally available for example or raised them without stereotypes. Other men have had to overcome really bad examples as they try to find ways to be more whole human beings.
I do think that many males were abused as children, because child abuse is so rampant in our culture, yet I think fewer men seek help to resolve trauma, which is unfortunate.
Women too buy into these stereotypes as they try to lead, sadly. They may think that this is the only way they can be taken seriously. Sometimes women can be the hardest on other women, perhaps in some attempt to prove just how “strong” and unemotional they are.
June 8th, 2007 at 12:58 am
>>>All of which is to say that men in positions of power, especially but not only in the animal advocacy movements, ought to think very carefully about the biases that might be at work when they suggest that women are being irrelevant or divisive by talking about feelings.>>>
These thoughts aren’t fully formed but let me lay them out there…I wonder, and I have some suspicion, that men sometimes do this because they are uncomfortable with their own feelings. By putting down feelings and devaluing the role of feelings in determining our relationships with and obligations to animals, they can superficially supress their feelings and avoid confronting them and talking about feelings, and retreat to the more antiseptic, academic, theoretical paradigms that they find more comfortable, less threatening. Unfortunately, in belittling feelings, they disrespect the women (and men) for whom feelings are an important part of their lives and worldviews, and sustain a male-dominated, two-tier system.
The difficult and pressing challenge, for me anyway, is to channel these observations out of the purely academic and into critical self-review - have I, do I engage in the transgressions that I have identified (it’s so much easier to spot flaws in others than in ourselves) - and consequent, positive personal change; IOW apply the lesson to myself.
June 8th, 2007 at 3:24 pm
Yes, and whether we are dealing with women or men, we must maintain our empathy with the suppressed feelings of those who are seeking to suppress feelings. That means finding ways to challenge their lack of empathy, and to insist that they be more responsible with their power, within an ethos of care for everybody. “I statements” that focus on behavior are a great way to do that: “I notice that you interrupt women whenever they start to talk about feelings.” “I feel uncomfortable that we aren’t taking better care of each other while doing this difficult work.” “I felt disrespected when you said, ‘…’” And, my personal favorite, which I learned from friends who do domestic violence work, “It’s not okay with me when you…”