My Trip to DC
(A heavy-handed semi-serious parody)
Hit hard by the economic downturn, representatives of the non-profit industry traveled to DC to demand our share of the bailout monies. I went along to speak up for animal shelters and sanctuaries. I took the Greyhound, as I always do, dressed spiffily in my least disreputable Goodwill clothing.
When it was my turn to testify, I told our inquisitors that the combination of declining contributions (due to the downturn) and increased feed costs (due to the ongoing food-feed-fuel crisis) has left my and many other sanctuaries scrambling for chicken scratch. Puffing myself up like an auto industry executive demanding billions of tax-payer dollars to subsidize his multi-million dollar salary, I demanded that the Eastern Shore Sanctuary be given $3,000, warning of a domino effect among the wild birds who mob the chickens’ food bowls on snow days if our wintertime feed costs are not covered.
The assembled lawmakers questioned me closely, demanding to know whether I would accept a salary of $1 per year in exchange for their aid. I told them that would be a raise for me, as I have never collected a salary for my work at the sanctuary. Then one lawmaker very cleverly asked if I would be willing to sell my return Greyhound ticket in order to fly back home on a commercial plane. Pointing out that this would be both more expensive and environmentally destructive, I refused. Negotiations broke down. I fear we will not get our bailout.
But — yo, Superweed readers, I’m serious — the Eastern Shore Sanctuary really is struggling due to the combination of declining contributions and rising feed costs. I really don’t (and never have) drawn a salary for my work at the sanctuary. Making a living on top of taking care of the birds (not to mention writing, speaking, etc, etc) leaves precious little time for fancy fundraising appeals, or even properly nurturing prior donors. We’ve been stuck in this cycle for a long time — without enough funds to fund the work we would need to do to raise sufficient funds. (That’s because we started by accident — after finding a bird on the roadside — and grew organically, rather than starting a sanctuary on purpose after raising the funds to do so.)
All of which is to say: If you appreciate Superweed or my other work and can afford to do so, please show the Eastern Shore Sanctuary some love by making a donation or encouraging your friends and relatives to do so. Donations may be made via PayPal using the link below or mailed to the address below. I can’t promise anything other than my heartfelt gratitude in return.
Eastern Shore Sanctuary
13981 Reading Ferry Road
Princess Anne, MD 21853
December 4th, 2008 at 2:33 pm
I think you should task Jack Black, Margaret Cho and Kathy Najimi to do My Trip to DC: The Musical to raise awareness and outrage
In all seriousness, {{hugs}}
December 4th, 2008 at 7:53 pm
pattrice, is your wish list on the website up to date? my partner and i can cobble together quite a few of the more random items, like pagemaker (or more updated adobe programs - we have them all), a video camera (if you don’t mind a tiny digital camera that takes good video), and books. shoot me an email if there are specific things that would help the most, and once i hear from you, consider them sent